This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
