Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize