Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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