Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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