I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
