last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
