im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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