Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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