Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
