Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
