I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Farmville is her only friend.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
