I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
