it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His hands were made for my vagina.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
