Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
