he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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