At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
