My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
