He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
wow bdsm is so cute
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