Please, let me fuck your mom
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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