omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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