oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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