Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
