Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
