Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
