she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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