I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
