I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
