absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
