11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
