Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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