there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
