Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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