Duck Duck Cougar?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i dont even know how to be here
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize