Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this boner is exhausting
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
