he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
