wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize