i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
