2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
