u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
