If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
