JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
