Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
