It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
