We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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