No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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