I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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