OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
