..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
