did you get engaged???
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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