All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
