You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
