omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
BRING THE BAGELS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize