Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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