bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
