Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
