i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
