My room smells like vodka and shame
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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