if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
whose ass print is on the piano?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
