Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just threw up on my dentist
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
