maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
