my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
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