there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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