just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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