I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
