Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
