So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
