those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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