im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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