I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Come see our sink grown plant.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
