I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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